Dear Blank, Please Blank

Dear Insomnia,
Please stop being a part of my life. Being awake until 3 am every night is entirely unacceptable with finals week coming up so soon.
Sincerely,
I just want to sleep

Dear Plaza Couples,
REALLY?! Must you sit there and touch each other’s faces right in front of me?! In broad daylight?!
Sincerely,
Not bitter, just single

Dear Dr. Fledderjohann,
We have two hours to do for our final what we had a week and a half to do for an assignment?
Sincerely,
That’s impossible

Dear ResLife,
Sure, I’ll just find someone to store my fridge all summer. Or else take it all the way home.
Sincerely,
Why can’t I just leave it here??

Dear Public Transit,
Even though you smell like pee, are incredibly crowded sometimes, and occasionally make me fear for my life; I’m going to miss you a lot this summer when I have to drive everywhere again.
Sincerely,
Sorry I’ve complained

Dear Other People on my Floor,
Is it really necessary to have all of your 1 am conversations right by the elevator?
Sincerely,
The elevator’s neighbor

Dear Gum Snappers,
AT LEAST wait until there’s other noise in the room. If all I can hear is the person speaking or praying/the movie/silence and your gum, you’re being straight up rude.
Sincerely,
It’s not just my misophonia

Dear Moody,
I don’t want to leave in a week and a half. Can you guys create some sort of time slower-downer machine?
Sincerely,
Shortest year ever

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